I wrote this letter to my self on 10th October at 3 a.m. in the night while going through a tough week and it instantly made me feel better. Posting it here in the hope that it might help others too.
I know there are days when you have no idea what you’re doing. There are days when you mess up at work, or are unsuccessful at some tasks. But dude, give yourself some credit. YOU HAVE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE! Learn from the tasks you couldn’t complete; so that the next time you do better! And instead of losing faith in your talent, remember that 0 poem you wrote in your first week. YOU did that!
And yes, you might feel lonely at times. But you have always had yourself. Cut yourself some slack. You have been cutting people out for so long, were dependent on one person for so long; you have gone through shit…
But you got through it all! You fucking almost died for real this year but you jumped right back up. And you didn’t let that second chance at life go to waste. You broke out of a relationship that was just being dragged out; you fucking got off that hospital bed and walked… despite that stupid swollen right foot.
You have proved yourself this year, multiple times over. You listen to your heart, you take a stand for what you want. You finally pin-pointed your passion. You finally fell in love with yourself. And that should be celebrated… Always.
So what if you mess up? You are only human. Even while recovery, there used to be days when you got annoyed, frustrated with yourself. You broke down a million nights, stayed up crying at nights and that only helped you heal better. There are still days when your right foot is killing you in the morning, but you still get up and go to work. You now laugh at your limping, instead of feeling disabled. You embraced it like a mark of victory. The victory of having got a chance to live again!
Emotionally you will heal too. There will come a day and you won’t even realize it, but you will affectionate again, when you will be openly empathetic again, when you will be that happy girl again, simply because you will have healed fully.
Let yourself break down when you need to, because every time you got torn up, it has only made you better. Stay loving to yourself. And even though there is no one else, you will always have your words and you will always have yourself.
Love and Light,