This year has all been about endings and beginnings. The end of each month has brought along some kind of change, and with it came along a lot of new emotions.
At the end of January, I almost lost my life. A blessing in disguise, it turned out to be. It gave me the strength to break free from the chains I had kept myself in and finally be myself for a change. It also brought back my enthusiasm for life and the depression that had settled in my core, was gone.
At the end of February, I was closing an era of my life and heading to Astana for recovery with the family. I finally got out of a toxic relationship, allowing myself to embrace the solitude and darkness that I become so afraid of. Turns out, solitude is actually amazing.
At the end of March, I could yawn and cough without pain in my chest. So, I had a lung infection, which had filled my lungs with pus to the point where I couldn’t breathe properly and after the pus had been taken out, my chest would still hurt from time to time. I couldn’t even laugh properly because that required my lungs to expand fully. By the end of March, I could do it without wincing atleast.
At the end of April, my Dad retired from work and my closest friend met with an accident, which ended up bringing us more closer than ever. It was because of my Dad that we traveled to and lived in different countries. Him retiring brought a literal end to life as we had known it. My closest friend? Well, I think his story is HIS story to tell. He was there for me, all through my recovery and I am with him through his recovery and that is what has brought us closer together.
At the end of May, my brother and I were close to finishing the Herculean and almost impossible task of completing around 28 units he required for his graduation from school. He did all the work himself, all he needed was guidance and a strict schedule. I messed up my graduation from school, so helping him was my vindication. It also gave me the confidence that I can succeed at something I give my time and dedication to.
At the end of June, we were packing and getting ready to leave Astana. I got really emotional around this time. Astana was the city where I had recovered and because of that, it will always be close to my heart. It also brought an end to living in foreign countries, for now. (fingers crossed for a future to living in different countries)
At the end of July, I was packing once again, this time heading out of Delhi to Himachal Pradesh. This is where I currently am, and I am loving it. I am here for only a week or so, but it truly is a blessing to have a home in a mountainous state where you can come to get away from the city. My lungs fully expand on their own, gulping as much of the fresh air possible. I run around with my monocular to look at the moon and the planets, to get a blurry look at them and go crazy about it. I walk in the grass, despite all the insect bites and all the insects, birds and animals make me feel lucky to be back again.
So yeah, even though this year I have been moving around, ending things that meant a great deal to me, I am learning that true beauty is really in the eye of the beholder. I am now more me than I ever was before; I am more full of life than I had ever been before; and I am much, much happier and at peace than I had ever been before.
Get on with your lives and start believing! (Limitless, Crown the Empire)